Conviction

I have been feeling convicted lately. I am not sure what exactly sparked this conviction, but I am trying to figure it out. I have a couple hunches.

Danny and I watched this amazing movie a couple nights ago. It is called "God Grew Tired of Us". If you haven't seen it YOU MUST. You absolutely must. And if you haven't got a heart for Africa yet, you will when you're done watching. It's a documentary that follows three "Lost Boys" from the Sudan who had to leave their homeland and move to America leaving everything they know, their friends and family behind. Pretty much what happened was, there was a civil war going on in Sudan in the late 90's, and 25 000 boys from the ages of 3 to 13 had to flee their villages to avoid being killed. (there was some edict out that all young boys should be killed-its a longer story involving corrupt people; I may write more about it in the future) They walked across the sub-Saharan dessert fighting against famine, disease, dangerous wild animals and rebel soldiers. These boys traveled for over 5 years together, forming make-shift families with one another, trying to find some comfort in their circumstance. They eventually made it to the UN's refugee camp in Kenya. But MANY lives were lost along the way. Eventually an American journalist heard word of these boys, and was able to track them down. He was eventually able to pursue the States that they should rescue these boys and help them relocate in America. This documentary follows 3 of there boys and their experience. Not all the boys were given the opportunity to relocate though- I think there were only 3800. There are some extremely heart wrenching moments in this movie, but there are some really funny ones too. It shows the boys experiencing all sorts of things for the first time such as flying in an airplane, using electricity, eating American food, etc. And it also shows some really candid moments of the boys talking about deeper issues too. I found it amazing to watch.

Then it brought me back to this conviction. I have so much. Why do I have so much? I am just overwhelmed with how much I have. Over the last month I have been thinking about my trip last year to Niger, a lot. I think it is because we left in mid-March and we are approaching the anniversary of that life-changing experience. So all these memories and experiences are vividly running through my mind as I go about my day. I find that I am often frustrated when I am not able to finish the food on my plate at dinner time, that I can just throw out the leftovers. I can cook and eat whatever I want when I want it. I can go shopping for clothes, pretty much whenever I want to. I can drive anywhere I want. I have a comfortable bed to sleep on with an abundance of pillows. I can buy as much for my house as I want. And yes I realize that there are still big restrictions on me because I myself am not a millionaire. But still. Why me? Why do I have these options? And why do I STILL take them for granted? I find that each day I am more and more convicted to do something. I am still patiently waiting on God to find out what that something is though. For this year I am stuck in Vancouver because my school goes straight through the summer and I graduate in December. I know the reason why I went into the travel industry is because I love traveling, but it is also HUGELY that I love culture, and I am passionate about building God's kingdom with my diploma somehow. I am wanting to get involved in, or start a non-profit organization that does humanitarian aid travel planning. Something along the lines of that. I am not sure what this looks like quite yet, but all I know is that I am heading in the right direction. But until I graduate, I am trying to figure out what I can do while I'm here. What that looks like. Vancouver is a needy city too. There are vast differences in wealth here, and when I really think about it, we are not much different that Niger. The Niger that I saw had a large mansion next door to a small hut. And here there are homeless people everywhere and wealthy business men and women everywhere too. I think our pastor mentioned last week that only 3% of Vancouver are Christians. Only 3% know Jesus. He said that Jesus did not die on the cross for only 3%. Its true. And its sad. Anyways, I just felt like writing about it. I feel frustrated at the world and frustrated with myself this week. It helps to write it out.
Here is a photo the very talented Robbie Jackson took in Niger. It reminds me of a lot.


I will write more soon! But its back to the books for me at the moment!